Driving in Chicago: “The Impatience Juke”

Lesson One: The “Impatience Juke” as a method for passing turning vehicles in intersections.

This blog was begun to provide a non-official source of information about University of Chicago’s MAPH program.  In addition to discussions of the program’s inner workings, discussions of its rigor, and samples of work that exemplify that demanded by UChicago, Maphmatically Yours is now pleased to offer those considering the program a primer on Chicago driving habits so as to facilitate acclimation and informed decisions about automobile insurance.  In an effort to keep this primer as relevant as possible, only those manuevers and events that are so commonplace as to be genuinely indicative have been included.  While there are bad drivers in every city, only in Chicago are good driving habits likely to draw the wrath of other motorists.  Therefore, study the diagrams and read all text carefully in order to master Chicago’s unique automotive culture.

In the diagram above the automobile driving North and entering the intersection first wishes to turn left and must either slow down to do so safely, or stop and wait for a gap in the southbound traffic.  The car following intends to continue northbound through the intersection without slowing or stopping.  Taking advantage of the extra “virtual” lane allowed by the lack of cars parked within the intersection, the driver of the second car quickly whips around the first car returning to his accustomed lane before running into the parked cars just on the other side of the intersection (shown on the diagram as transparent).

In the unlikely even that Chicago’s streets are not pristinely cleared of standing rain, snow, or ice–and one is unable to return as quickly as they would wish to their regularly scheduled lane–thereby causing one to smack into a parked car and be ejected through the windshield, one should feel entirely justified in blaming the driver of the turning vehicle.

Maphmatically Yours thanks you for your attention and reminds you that:

Chicago’s streets are safe–it’s only the people that make them dangerous. 

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2 comments on “Driving in Chicago: “The Impatience Juke”

  1. This was an entirely new maneuver for me, and I come from a land filled with bad drivers. I must say, I have enjoyed adding this to my deployable traffic skills.

  2. maphman says:

    Is that “deployable” or “deplorable?”

    I’ve driven–and been driven–extensively in Minneapolis, St. Louis, Des Moines, Omaha, Juno, Boise, Seattle, Oxford, and London… and it appears that Chicago has the market cornered on unique and innovative ways of making motoring terrifying.

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